*stars*

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Uncertain, not sure what's my feeling, how i feel, didnt bother either.
Someting im certain, i cheated my feelings all along.
psychoed myself im happy when im not, said im fortunate when the lil thing i wished for most wasnt there, bluffed myself im xing fu when im nt even feeling a moderate mood.
imagined that i've already forgotten when all along the feeling lingers ard me.
the more sad i get the more i wanna forget, but the more i wanna forget the more im missing her.
i've used all reasons to be happy and none left.
not sure wad im going to do, trying to guide myself to the correct path.
intuition not working.
if im asked wads my aim, i wud say for now, i dun noe.
den maybe i'll get scolded again for living a life aimlessly.
cant guide myself, im letting each day to pass just like that.
sch-foosball-eat-comp-slp-sch-eat-foosball-comp---and the cyle goes on n on..
told myself nt to tink, and i didnt - ended up with mood swings when i dun think.
however when i think, im not getting the right answers, ended up being sad all over again.
and again, will be telling myself to forget..
can anyone guide me? but no god!! PLS PLS... humans only.. LOL..
wanna go back to the smiley me. used to smile everyday every moment. cus theres nth to be sad abt. thats the past of cus, wad about the present, and the future?
looking forward to the future, but the ever so bright future seems so dull. freak.
keep looking forward to tomorrow, but when the tomorrow becomes a reality, light diminishes..
not sure how life wud be when ive already forgotten you.

im dumb perhaps, thinking of quitting foosball.
SP vs RP competition coming soon. i will win them, i will dominate them. my stupid dream again...
but i will quit foosball after the competition. Cus i cant stand the every lil pain im bearing inside.
whats the point when im in ur team.. aiya really lost faith.
i still believe, every ending will be a good one.
willing to end someting i like - in exchange for my smile.

and something about my birthday, i seriously do not wish to celebrate with you all, as in sp ones. though u all may have some events for me, i appreciate it. only wish to celebrate with 2e2. whats the point of you celebrating my birthday with me, when all i wish for is your heart and ur heart isnt there.?
its like.. face to face, but a thousand miles apart.
do not want my birthday to be like any other days. i wan a memorable one that remains in my memory lane eternally.
fang qi-wo fang de xia, shuo de dao, zuo bu dao.
my mind is filled with you. im useless.

*see-kay* watched the stars @ *11:34 pm*