*stars*

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

something isnt right. but theres something in the something which isnt right.
keep wondering all night long. why?
why am i behaving like that? why do i have mood swings every now and then?
im not like this in the past. why do i get so restless so easily? why am i so quiet? why do i seem like i dun care about everything in this entire world? nothing seems to bother me, or perhaps everything seems to bother me.
i tried to be carefree, but it only lasted me for a week or so.
it seems like even when she tok to me, im ignoring her and everybody.
but this only happens in the night.
feeling so guilty now, now sure why am i like that.
how can i ever put myself to do this, i dun mean it but why?
its not that im sad, im not.. worse still, im not even happy. moderate mood.
whats in me that makes me so restless, sianzzz?
its been a week or so, yet i haven find an appropriate answer.
of cause i do know one thing, i need a good friend beside me now.
i cant control myself. why?
seems to be sick of everything.. like exhausted?
can anyone understand me..
sorry to all my foosball n pool friends for having such a long face..

dun wish to gain happiness from foosball,
i need my best pals to cheer me up.
do something my poly mates can never do.
i trust u all so much more.
bring me out?haha
maybe wl, zlin,vic n some others?
i feel no sense of belonging in poly, life is meaningless ever since i step into poly.
i tot i can belong somewhere, but i was wrong.

sub-conciously i know, i wanna give up.
i've lost faith in myself, not much confident left
given up mentally and physically.. the only substance left is emotion
i've done my best to give the best. reached a limit whereby i cant love u more.
if i were to choose, i will choose one who love me more than i love her
haha just some thoughts. not sad about love anymore.
i've learnt how not to worry, not to care, not to be sad, lastly gain happiness from sadness.
the pink friendship band i made is a treasure ive given you. it resembles our friendship(sorries and love). i wish it can last, cause i regarded you as one of my bestest pal in poly. i trusted you more than anyone elses. You're also my best foosball partner. never another one whom i trust this much.
however if u find me demanding, cant accomodate me, leave me as a friend.
i leave without regrets. i love without regrets.
i chose the wrong path to love, nt that loving u is wrong or gives me pain, but i jus chose the wrong path. im not good enough for you.
i took away your friends, gave u trouble, added oil to your fury and many more.
im the best person to give u the worst life u can ever have. im worthless

*see-kay* watched the stars @ *9:45 pm*